Employee seen working at Lunch hour

"Pangs Of Kanpur"

What not to do while preparing for JEE

 

                I had no clue how a gunshot sounds like. But when that high decibel sound dominated Atif Aslam on our mp3 player and reached my eardrums, I somehow knew what it was. I stared blankly towards Kavi and Chandu. " What the fuck was that!" shouted Chandu. It was as if my center of mass had shifted to my throat. I couldn't speak. I choked. Next thing we hear was a voice at the top of our heads. Voice clearly suggested that the man was enraged and was abusing someone passionately. In a matter of seconds he had brought the whole ancestry of the other person under scanner. All this was going on our rooftop. " Where is Pornab?" I blurted. Kavi ran to Pornab's room and came back with somewhat obvious news. Pornab was not there. Atif Aslam was still singing explaining how he can't sustain long distance relationship anymore. Chandu understood my irritation with Atif and brought him to peace. So Pornab was probably upstairs, there was a shot and swearing ceremony followed. The only logical answer to this situation seemed that Pornab might have jumped into the girls' hostel adjoining our house, which he had always dreamt of, molested Smriti, the hottest chick, and got caught by uncle who happened to be army retired. As soon as it dawned on us we sprinted towards the staircase. In a matter of seconds we were at the top of the staircase and the door to the roof was ajar. I turned and saw Chandu and Kavi for a tacit confirmation for getting on the roof and they nodded.

             I stepped on the roof and turned right to get a glimpse of Pornab. Pornab was there, alive, but there was nobody on the roof of girls' hostel. I stood there perplexed and then I saw someone at an elevated 12 o' clock position to me and was holding a gun pointed at Pornab's scalp. Fuck!. Yes Pornab had fucked up but it was an entirely different shit than we had imagined. Funny (sad) thing was that we still didn't need any explanation of what he had done, but you people do.

            We, the five of us were in Kakadeo; the coaching hub of Kanpur. Every year thousands of young souls migrate to this peace of land with a dream to crack JEE. We were no exceptions. Although the zeal and enthusiasm lasts only two months or maximum three and then it transforms into a boring routine. We were lucky (or in a broader sense unlucky) to have a girls' hostel adjoining our building. We would stare into their rooms from an incomplete portion of our first floor as if they will start doing striptease. Also we planned some serious espionage to get a view of their bathroom but it went all in vain. It all happened for a month or so and finally Pornab and Kavi gathered courage to talk to some of them at our rooftop. The remaining three of us too later joined in. We would talk late into the night on some shithole topic. We would bring tea for them from Rawatpur station late into the night and they return the favour with some breathtaking (literally) maggi. One of the nights we were roaming on the rooftop waiting for the girls when Punter (the 5th friend) spotted something in the house just behind our building. When we asked the reason for his sudden spike in adrenaline and testosterone levels he told us that a bedroom was visible from the edge of the roof and a couple is having sex in it. Yes we were exposed to porn earlier but watching a real sex live was a jackpot for five 17 year old boys overflowing with puberty. So for the next three or four weeks we would go on the roof early, watch the live feed, talk to the girls and then go to sleep. We were having a good time until one day one of the girls of the hostel got envious (that's how we take it) and complained to the landlady that some of the girls talk to the boys. She complained to our landlady and we were restricted to go on roof. Four of us took it in a positive manner and turned our asses back to the studies but Pornab couldn't digest this sudden detachment from the live feed. He would secretly watch it. Once on a full moon  when the red light of the bedroom was dimmer to the outside, the missionary lady spotted a hooded figure on the neighbour's roof. She told her apprehensions to her male counterpart. The spouse made a plan and next night stationed himself at his roof which was one story above ours and waited for his prey. When Pornab came adorned in a grey shawl in this November night, stooped low on the edge of the roof to get a clear view a gunshot startled him.

       

         " Hey you, come over here" , yelled the man with the gun to me. I still couldn't make out his face as his back was against the moon. " Do you know what he was doing?" shouted the man pointing the gun to Prnab. Oh yeah, he was watching you fucking your wife, but instead I said " I have no idea". He enquired whether I knew him or not and I replied that he was just another tenant. He told me what Pornab had done intermittent with several ' Teri ma ki' ' Teri behan ki' moments. Then he asked me to slap Pornab. I slapped him with the lamest possible effort that even Pornab was confused whether the slap was complete or was still in process. "Awaaj aani chahiye" gunman hollered ( I know that's a scene in the movie Khaki but I am not making that up). To slap a dear friend is one of the hardest thing to do. I lifted my hand, which felt much heavier than 2.5 kg, with all the might. I remembered all the jovial moments we shared which now seemed were in a different era. With heavy heart and head down I slapped him hard. I thought it was over and so did the young man but then I heard a thud on the door of the room whose balcony was at the same level to our roof. The door opened and a Yokozuna defying monster came to the fore with a '2 nalli bandook' in his right hand. He was the elder brother of the pleasure seeker. He called Pornab to that corner of the roof where the roof and balcony were attached and asked him to bend. Then he started bombarding punches on his back. He made him straight again only to put the '2 nalli bandook' on his chest. " How dare you watched in Ajitabh Mishra's house", he shouted. "Akhilesh yadav visits our house very often. I will kill you in this very spot and nobody will be able to do anything." Although I didn't know who this Akhilesh Yadav was but at his murder threat I was scared to death. Punter was so lucky to have got chicken pox and avoided all this. Now almost all the surrounding roofs were amassed with students or owners. Even girls were there :(. Pornab went genuflect and we too folded hands and pleaded for his life. The army retired uncle also intervened and requested Yokozuna to not put a hole into Pornab's chest. His rage waned a bit and asked the name of coachings in which Pornab studied. In such a high gravity situation when life and death were just a trigger away, Pornab had the gumption to lie. Chemistry by Babool (instead of Pankaj agarwal), Physics by Raj kushwaha (instead of Anish) and Maths by Juneja (instead of Ashish) were his answers. I would have given him a Bravery award as well as Stupidest person of the year award at the same time if I could. Well, Yoko bought his answers and convinced him that tomorrow will be his last day at the coachings and in Kakadeo. Finally the drama ended and we came downstairs humiliated and shaken. The three of were very upset but Pornab took his phone went into his room and started talking to his girlfriend as if nothing had happened.

            This incident had groundbreaking effects on Chandu, Kavi and Punter and hence they chose career in marine and aviation.

            Pornab is doing masters from a premier institute and have accomplished many feats of such stature till date.

Moral: When elder get cosy younger don't put your nosy.